this is what i want

Last Night...

sorry i haven't written in a while guys... lots to tell... the b-day weekend... and the foolishness that i indulged in will be coming up soon... but for now... i'm going to tell you about last night...


(right now i'm listening to "so amazing" by Luther V.)

so... last night Texas took me to this spot called THE PRIME RIB... it was amazing... mainly because he was there... but the food was great... afterwards we went back to his spot... watched the fight... which i fell asleep on... but... i woke up around 2... and saw that he was asleep...

this is what he (and you guys) would have seen....

T.R. if you were awake right now you would see a woman... stairing at you trying to figure out how you made her feel that way she does...

when i'm with you... i'm at my best... always... that's what you bring out of me... and i love you more everyday for it...

if you were awake right now... you would see a women who always wants you to be happy... no matter what that means for you... i just want you to smile... may it be with me or... another...

if you were awake right now... you would see a women who loves you... truly loves you... you know... many times when people say i love you... they don't really mean it right then... they're really just waiting for the preson to confirm that they love them... and once they realize it's ok... that's when they really love the person... (if that makes any sense)... but it's not like that with me Texas... i love you... and even if you don't love me back... i love you just the same... you've taught me how to be unselfish... and that's a big accomplishment... no really... it is...

if you were awake right now... you would be looking at a woman who wants more out of our relationship... and you can't blame me for that... just as i can't blame you for not being able to give me more out of the relationship... and just because you can't... doesn't mean that you're not giving me all you have...

Texas... in every relationship there is a lesson... in this relationship the lesson you have taught me is agape' love... and i thank you for that...

Nola*

(singing) lost without you... can't help myself... how does it feel... to know that i love you baby....

Hey guys...

i've been really busy as of late... i'll be back monday with new post...

ttys!

So... I've been tagged...

Sorry this took soooo long

So... because of the beautiful ms. mary (who's name isn't really mary) i've been tagged... i though this was something like a facebook tag... but it's not... this is like a homework assignment tag... cause now i have to write stuff... but it's cool... i like to write stuff... ill stuff... cause i'm super ill... so lets get to it!

1. in order to pass the time at work... i watch the same 7 episodes of Flavor of Love 2... Yes... the same 7... monday- friday... 5 days a week... like clock work... it drives me crazy!!!!! thus why i feel i am slightly insane... because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over... and over again... thinking your going to get a different result...

2. i hate fried chicken... yes... i do... and yes... i am black... well black enough... my family and friends say i now cannot say the word "nigga"... but if they start passing out forty acres and a mule... i's gonna be a fried chicken eatin mofo...

3. when people are talking to me at work... i sing songs in my head... it's usually Luke base music... i also imagine me slapping them in the face with a dirty sock full of nails... yes... nails... don't judge me... i know yall think of doing worse...

4. when i spend the night over a guys house... i worry that i'll fall asleep before them... and fart... i mean... i can't hold my fart while i'm sleeping... i had this happen this weekend... i spent the night over Texas' house... and i feel asleep while he was watching the fight... but then i woke up around 3.... and he was sleep... and he farted... twice... so i guess we're even... that is if i farted... any who...

5. you know those bags they sell at the grocery store... yeah... the ones that you can recycle and shit... i have those... but i still get plastic bags... because some shit i just like to do for show... again... don't judge me...

6. i don't wear underwear on sundays... for the whole day... no matter what i'm doing... it's my way of bein' an undercover hooker... don't judge me...

7. i have unhealthy relationships with the following bloggers.... J~Skittles, one smart black man, amber-alert, B-More Bap, karrieb, sexy luv, and Nunu Noodleson...

Story of my life...

i love Kanye West... he's arrogant... he's an asshole... he's... he's... honest... and he's fair... and i'm going to kidnap him and have some little arrogant ass babies with him... with his widdle chubby cheeks!

So... I take it you don't like women...

over the summer... while i was at my muscle man's cookout (i misses him... he's in florida... but he's coming home for thanksgiving... and i'm gonna make him eat pie... no... not my apple pie.. real pie... i won't do him cause i don't want to mess up our friendship... any who) i met this guy... let's call him bacon... i shall call him bacon because a. he was fat... and b. he reminded me of a pig...



Bacon was on the phone attempting to convince some chick to meet him at muscle man's cookout... this girl had to be as dumb as a door nob... cause he was telling her all types of lies... like "i'm not with my girl no more (and he was, cause she has just left the cookout) ... i'm trying to be with you (no he's not... he just wants to bump uglies)" and "baby you're my everything (no... your his bussed baby... or however you spell it)..."



once he gets off the phone with her... he begins a dialog with one of his boys saying "this bitch is a dumb rolla" (for people that are not from da "area" a rolla is a ho) and he does all bitches like this... even his girl... he elaborated that "man she be trickin' on me... and i ain't doing shit for that ho... these bitches love me... but i don't love them... never..."



now... because i don't know how to keep my mouth shut when i'm suppose to... i interrupted his conversation and said... "so... i take it you don't like women..." he then looked at me and said... "ms. lady... did you not just here what i said... i love women..." i then corrected him by saying... "no... you like to fuck women... you like to make women feel stupid... but you do not like women... because men who like women don't brag about dogging them out... especially good women (his girlfriend is very sweet... just blind as hell... but we've all been there before) ... but you do like the fellas... cause you've high fived nigga in here... leave some for me!"



his boy even had to recognize i was right...



if a girl is a ho... treat her accordingly...



and if she's a queen... give her the same regard



Nola*

it's just one of those weeks... (tell um how you feel tues.)

for some reason... i've been moody all week... i mean... nothing is going on in particular... but everyone... and everything is BLOWING ME!!!!





these bitches in my office talk to damn much... about meaningless shit... it's like they don't even take a breath... then they always ask... "why are you so quiet..." i don't like you... i think your lame... you talk about shit i can't relate to... i don't really care about what you have to say... all i want to do is come to work... work hard at looking like i'm working hard... when really i aint doin shit... and go home... but no... i can't do that... i have to listen to your bullshit about your roommate... and you bitch ass boyfriend who won't stand up to you (i'm almost positive he has a vagina)... i just DON'T FUCKIN CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!



sorry... i had to get that off my chest... these hoes in here are about to drive me crazy... they should write a blog... instead of talking to me...



you know what else gets on my nerves... people that speed to work... why? WHY? MUTHA FUCKA WHY?!?!?!



if i'm late to work... i'm just gonna be late... (i'm late everyday... it's my way of sticking it to the man...) why the hell would i speed and damn near get in an accident to go to a place i don't even want to be... if i'm gonna wreck my car... it's gonna be because i'm going to a party... to make some bad decisions... or for a booty call...



i hate... HATE dirty old men... and there are a bunch of them in my office... always asking... "why don't you ever say hi to me..." because your old... and you have worms... and you're gonna try to give them to me... that's why... you sick son of a bitch... you have a grandchild my age... so why the fuck are you asking me to lunch...

i'm gonna go drink some green tea... do some yoga... and look out my third eye...

actually... fuck all that son... i'm gonna put on some Wu-Tang... and hit a jay...

Nola*

Breathing...

it's so hard for me to say this
i'm struggling to find the right words
what I've felt is past tense What I feel you just haven't heard
so
i think it's better that I tell you now
i think it's better that I tell you now
i think it's better that I tell you now
he's so sweet and good,
good
i can't let him go
-Jill Scott


right now... i'm dealing with a lot of uncertainty in my love life...

i believe that different people bring out different characteristics of yourself...

i love who i am when i'm with Texas... i'm funny... i feel pretty... i feel like i'm at my best...

but with the Jewel... i feel insecure... inadequate... and like i'm not good enough for anyone... including him...

but i can't walk away from the Jewel... because i know he'll always be there for me... no matter what... i love him because he gives me security... and i know with him... i'll never be alone... but with him... i sacrifice my happiness... because my smile is simple a facade...

with Texas... i know that when i'm with him... i'll always be happy... but i'm not sure if he'll always be there... so with him... i sacrifice my sense of security...

i need to really put my big girl panties on... and deal with it... but their uncomfortable... and give me wedgies... sheesh...

Monday Funny!!!!

people in my office are getting on my nerves...



i was at the game last night... didn't get in until 1am... had to be to work by 6am... and they keep askng me what's wrong... and that i look tired... i know i look tired... because i was the first person to see my face this morning... i wish they would do me a favor... and keep their observations to themselves... stupid doo doo heads...



i watched this to get a laugh...

i also wrote a letter to Texas Ranger... and told him how i felt... we had fun at the game... and now he knows i love him... and now i am going to hide under a rock... and avoid his phone calls... because i don't do well with situations i have no control over... and i'm a thug... and thugs run away from love...



Wu-Tang for life dunny...





Nola*

RANDOMS!!!!!!!!

*big up's to my readers!!!! i now have 7 minion followers... if that makes any sense... mrs. mary... sexy luv... 1/3... j-skittles... i have a sexy male stripper coming your way... well not you mrs. mary... i don't want your husband to get upset... so i'll send you a puppy... if you keep it alive for more than a 2 years... you can have a baby...*

• i'm listening to Wu-Tang today... and it makes me answer my phone at work like this: "ay yo... dis be yo girl t-bird... what's good dunny..." i'll be getting fired around 10:30...


• i still feel some type of way about taking down my blog... but it's cool... i guess


• listening to Wu-Tang make me want to do dangerous stuff... like run with scissors...


• why the hell do people hold out their hands when they see you with an arm full of food... talking bout some, "is that for me?! thank you!!!!" no bitch... it's not for you... now open the damn door... moochin' ass masters...


• i'm going to be 24 for 9 more days...


• i was in the car with my mom the other day... it was 11 am... and she had liquor in her cup... i told her it was to early to drink... and she responded... "it's 2 pm somewhere in the world..."


• i'm going to the Cowboys vs. Redskins game this weekend with Texas Ranger... *sigh*


• Texas Ranger... I love you... and everyone on blogspot knows it... but i'll never tell you... cause i'm a thug... and a punk...


• i'm eating sushi today with my best friend Marcus!!!!!


• and this guy has one more time to smile at me... before i tackle him with kisses... walking around here all fine and stuff... HE KNOW he look good... always coming in my office... just to say hi... i got your hi for you... right here in my pants... wait... that was totally inappropriate...

Nola*

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!!!!!

SUSHI FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at 11:30 am... i am meeting Marcus at the sushi bar... and we are going to feast like kings... i shall take pictures of the food... and my face... and it shall be delish... and i shall eat... and drink... and take a 15 min nap in my car before i go back to work... and then walk back in the building... tell them i want a raise... because i just ate sushi... and that means i'm a boss... so fuck u... and pay me...

Sounds good...

Nola*

So... I took down one of my blogs...

for my readers... yall know which one it is... so i feel obligated to yall to explain why...

the person it was about has someone who could possibly read it... and it could throw problems his way...

now mind you... i felt some type of way about it at first... but after talking to bestie... (she's my mini Buddha... i so love her...) she gave me a little clarity to the situation...

i felt as though he was asking me to take it down for her... which is actually true... so i began to focus on that fact alone... but after have a short dialog with bestie... she explain that i'm not taking it down for her... i'm taking it down because he asked me to... and if i consider him a friend... then i would do so... but if i see him as someone that i don't care about... then i would let it remain there...

so after that, the answer was clear on what i needed to do... i needed to put aside my "only child" ways of being selfish... and take it down... not for her... for him... while our relationship was very physical (this actually made up about 70% of it...) i do care about this young man... so intern... the blog is no longer...

i still feel some type of way about it... but at the end of the day... i know i'm doing that right thing...

but because i am an only child... and always have to have the last word... i'm going to say this

this is MY blog... this the MY MUTHA FUCKIN BLOG... this the one place where i can be honest with total strangers... and feel like i'm not being judge... i can write about anything from what i ate this morning... to who i fucked last night... and not feel like the world is going to reprimand me for it...

if you are someone of importance in my like (whether big or small)... you just might get written about... now... if i care for you... i will always use a code name (which i did with the guy i took the blog down about)... but if i don't give a flying fuck about you.. please believe that your name will get put out there... (sometimes first and last...)

so i'll close with this... never be to anxious to find out a secret... because it could change your life forever... translation... CHICK STOP BLOG STALKING ME!!!!!

i'm outtie...

Nola*

stuff i think that happens when you're 25....

i'm going to be 25 in 10 days... and i have no clue of what going to happen to me... Nov.23 at 12:01 pm...

so... i've created this theory...

here is the stuff i've come up with that's going to happen when i turn 25...

when i turn 25 i'm going to:

• start enjoying O magazine... to the point where it becomes an unhealthy obsessions... (you know... like trying out everything Oprah says works for her... like drinking a cup of olive oil... and putting lemons in my socks while i'm jogging cause it burns more calories...)
• delete all of my gangster rap from my play list....
• start taking vitamins... to the point i overdose on them... (can you overdose on vitamins??? them Flintstones joints are the truth)
• make a "to do list" of things i've already done... so i can feel like i accomplished something...
• go to juice bars twice a week...
• stop dating bad boys...
• start dating younger boys
• like cats... even though they lick butter...
• i take the last one back...
• get excited when i buy new curtains...
• think doggie style is a bad position...
• want to have long meaningful conversations with guys who i think i like... instead of trying to see what type of shoes they have on to define how much i'll like him... (not looking forward to this...)
• start every sentence out when talking to youngsters "when i was your age..."

25... is gonna be lame... or maybe not... what yall think...

Nola*

my stand on relationships...

my mom told me this weekend that i act like a boy... as far as relationships go... i have serious commitment issues... and i kinda treat guys as if they are replaceable... well except for Texas Ranger... i love him... and one day i'm gonna tell him... but for now... i gotta "keep my heart three stacks..."

any who... here are my rules when it come to dating and open relationships...

• do not ask me who i was with last night... (i really don't know why you would care cause it wasn't you... and if you ask me i just might tell you... and mess up your day... cause it might have been one of your friends... i'm just saying)
• only control what you can... (you can't control what i'm doing when i'm not with you... but you can control how i feel when i am in your presence... if you keep me happy... i'll let you dwell in my universe more often...... if you piss me off... i'll be in my spaceship and on to the next galaxy... or in your best friends galaxy...)
• don't sell me dreams... (if i am something like wifey... then treat me accordingly... if i'm your jump off... let me know... i'll decided if i want to stay in the relationship or not...)
• the only thing i expect from you is to be respectful... and fair... (and no... i don't expect you to be honest with me... cause i'm not going to be that with you... you don't deserve my honesty off the back... like i always tell dudes... i'm not the most honest chick in the world... but i am fair... just being honest... LOL)
• tricking on me will not get you more time... (i will tell bestie about it... and she will laugh you out... give me something i can't give myself...)

pimpin is easy...

Nola*

WHO THE HELL LET THAT BABY LADY IN HERE!!!!!

*i realized something about myself this weekend... i don't like to see stripper completely naked... but i'll get to this later in the blog...*

*also... i sooooo love my readers... yall rock!!! and i looooooooooves your stuff too!*

so... i went out on a date friday... his name is Aaron... but for now we shall call him Ne-Yo... (i'll explain the nickname later...)

i met Ne-Yo at the gym... i had been checking him out for like a month... we would make small talk... he would say stuff like... "girl you need to stop walking around here... looking all cute and workout..." so finally... about a week ago... he walks me to my car... and i get the digits...

back to the date...

i pick him up... (i'm not old fashion at all... plus i don't like niggas knowing where i live...) we head out to Adams Morgan to my favi spot... Evolve...

i realized a few things i don't like about him from the jump...

1... he talks to damn much...

2... the nigga pops gum like a bitch...

so... we get to Evolve... grab a seat at the bar... have some good conversation... eat... and take a few shots...

we then roll down to the hookah bar...

at this point i'm a little tipsy... and when i get tipsy... i start speaking my mind...

i let him know that he pops gum like 20 times... he laughs... and removes his gum... i also notice that he always wears a hat... even in the gym... i ask can i see him without his hat... he seems a little reluctant to remove it... but he does... and i then understand why he always wears a hat... he has the Ne-Yo syndrome...

he then insisted that he needs a hair cut... i then insisted that he needs to stay away from the barber shop... he hasn't called me since friday...

this weekend my birthday month officially kicked off... and we followed the sacred tradition of going to the strip club...

now for those of you that don't know... in Maryland it is against the law for exotic dancers to totally expose themselves... but in D.C. it's fair game...

the show we went to was in D.C.

they got naked... bucket... naked...

and i felt a little disgusted...

now... i love penis... but at this show... it was to much of it in my face...

the venue we went to was hood... i mean... very... very hood... i mean like... big bitch's was bring in popeye's chicken hood... and bringing your own liquor in the building hood... (i brought a couple bottles of wine ... so i still fall under the classy ho category...)

speaking of big bitch's... here's a couple pics... and most of them had on stuff that they should NOT be wearing... i mean... i wouldn't even wear it... (btw... i have nothing against big girls... i'm thick myself... not a Monique thick... more like and Alicia Keys thick...)

these chicks also had rubbermaid containers full of food... out of line...

something else that was out of line about the show was the female strippers... and no... not the one's that dance like girls... and show their boobies and stuff... the one's that dance like boys... i had to leave the room at this point...

yes... that's a girl stripper... picking up a girl... i was as confused as you are right now... and my girl Nicole had this face for the rest of the night cause of it...

these niggas were rookies... and it showed... and one of them was fat... i refused to give them any money...

yep... he's popping his coochie... damn shame...

and i have no clue why this chick had on a prom dress to go see some strippers...

and i have no clue who let this baby lady in there...

highlight of the night....

so in closing... i learned these valuable lessons this weekend...

1. guys that have the Ne-Yo syndrome pop gum


2. baby ladies get more attention at strip clubs than normal ladies


3. make sure you tip your naked engineers... or strippers...

Nola*

The Name...

*this weekend was pure-de-foolishness... and i got drunk... and then cursed out for it... i'll write about it later...*


recently someone asked me why i gave my blog the name "things to do today... wake up... survive... and go back to sleep..."

it's a simple yet complex answer...

my life is random... anyone who reads my blog can see that...

but there are 3 that are a given...

no matter what i am dealing with... i will get up...

no matter what comes my way... i will survive it...

and eventually... i will go back to bed...

and no one will ever take those 3 things away from me...

Nola*

and they said it couldn't be done...

Gotta love it...

for my thick girls!

the guys love my figure... cause i'm got that thickness thang thang going on...

but sometimes i feel insecure about my thickness... and when i do... i watch this...

gotta love it...

*sigh*

breaking up sucks...

hypothetical situation...

i have someone... but i know deep inside i'm not the one for them... but i haven't let them know that yet...

i'm not the one for them because i'm in love with someone else...

and the reason i don't let go of the one who i'm wrong for is because the one that's right for me hasn't confirmed that he's the one for me...

yeah... i know... i can see karma coming a mile away...

nigga... don't insult my smartness...

i think i'm going to make this a regular post-diggity...

aight... so this dude... that works in my building TRIES to run game... bad part is... he's not good at running game... good part is i'm great at running game... as well as recognizing it...

nigga talking bout' yeah... i just bought a house... (that's great!)
and i have a bike (even better! i don't ride anymore though...)
and i just moved my babies mother in with me cause she has no where to go... but we are not together...

*clears throat*

NIGGA DON'T INSULT MY SMARTNESS!!!!! aka don't insult my intelligence...

Nola*

RANDOMS!!!!!!!!

• big ups to my 5 followers... i'll take care of yall as soon as i take over the world...
• white people aren't going to vote for Obama... even though some say that they are... they're gonna get in there... look around to make sure no one is watching... and hit the McCain button...
• i've been singing this song in my head for weeks... at the most inappropriate times... like when i'm in church... "BIG BOOTY HOES!!! HUMP WIT IT!" i know... i'm going to hell...
• i look at women's butt's... a lot... but i'm not gay...
• i think i was gay in my former life...
• i love you... there i said it... now can we both just stop bullshitting' and make this thing happen...
• don't you worry... bottom boo and i are going to kill him... we've already found a place for the body...
• every time i talk to you... that song "never can say goodbye" plays in my head... i mean i procrastinate on stuff... but this is taking it to a whooooooole different level...
• i hate talking to my fathers side of the family on the phone...
• the shower is my stage...
• sometimes i call people... and hope that i get their voicemail... cause i don't really want to talk to them... i just want the guilt to go away about not calling them...
• i don't like when my younger cousins try to get my parents attention... their MY parents... get your own... losers... (yep... i sure am an only child)
• i send you e-cards hoping they convey how i really feel about you...
• i enjoy pissing people off... helps re-confirm that they care about me...
• i'm only a cowboys fan cause my parents are redskins fans... i'm a rebel... but not without a cause...
• dallas sucks right now... yeah i said it...
• and no... i've never been to dallas... but you've never been to Jerusalem... and you're a fan of Jesus (i am too... He's super!)

It allllll started last Thursday (Oct 23)

*sidebar* I HAVE 5 FOLLOWERS!!!!!!

i could soooo run for president right now and win...

like i said in a previous post... i haven't been feeling to good... which stems from the fact that i haven't been taking care of myself... hanging out late... not getting enough rest... getting stupid freakin drunk... and not eating right... (i've told myself if i drink green tea after ever meal... it makes it a healthy meal no matter what... i might need to re-think that theory)...

i missed a reeeeeeally important event... Texas Ranger (that's his nickname) 25th birthday on Sat... even though he understood and wasn't mad at all... i still felt like crap about it... but he told me he really wished I could have been there with him... so it kinda made me feel special...

sunday... felt like death on a stick... my body was soooooo freaking sore!!!! i literally slept allllll day... couldn't even eat... i slept so much that my bed told me that i was smothering him... and said he needed some space... so i went upstairs and slept on the sofa...

monday... i woke up and i couldn't breathe... i mean... literally... i was gasping for air... scary shit... even still i didn't want to go the emergency room... so... mom dukes hog tied me and threw me in the back of the truck... before she did that i asked her could i do my hair first... she looked at me and then turned and got duck tap for my mouth...

we get to the e.r. (there are some weird people in emergency room's... there and airports...) they rush me to the back... i meet dr. Jay... cool beans... he looks tired and over worked... but i made him smile... so he fell in love with me... then he gave me a happy injection... and it made me look like this...

dr. Jay numbs my right nostril... and sticks a camera down it to see my throat... one of the most uncomfortable experiences EVER... he confirms that my throat is starting to shut... they start an i.v. on me... and put some happy medication in threw it... i love happy medication... and i think i've developed a mild drug habit from the happy medication... (yeahhhh happy medication)

sadly... my i.v. messes up somehow... so they send in nurse Bertha to fix my i.v.... she's a sweet old African lady... who has no clue how to find vein... i know this because she stuck me about 6 times... then nurse kathy came in and found the vein in one try... wish she would have done it in the first place... my arms still look like i do crack...

dr. Jay says that i'm being admitted... (yeahhhhh....) it took forever for me to get a room... but around 7pm... i got one... so i decided to celebrate and have a photo shoot...

sexy... i know... i have a habit of making a bad situation funny...

the worst part about being in the hospital is the food... below is a sad attempt at veil parmesan... really sad attempt...but that's why you tell people your dying so they'll bring you chocolate and seafood from Jerry’s








during the coarse of my stay i wound up having a reaction to two medications... *above is the pic of the naughty meds...*

and it made me look like this...

not cool... not cool at all...

oh... and i saw what the inside of my leg looks like...

soooo freakin' awsome!

any who....

long story short... they released me after two days... and now i'm here... at work... blogging...

moral of this story...

take care of yourself... but if you don't... make sure you have a camera on your phone...

Tiffany*

Spent 3 days in the hospital... More to come...

Sorry I haven't written in a while folks... I was at Doctors Hospital for 3 DAYS!!!! Then I was at home making sure I didn't go back... But I took lots of pics... and have tons to write about... I'll give yall the skinny manana...