it's so hard for me to say this
i'm struggling to find the right words
what I've felt is past tense What I feel you just haven't heard
so
i think it's better that I tell you now
i think it's better that I tell you now
i think it's better that I tell you now
he's so sweet and good,
good
i can't let him go
-Jill Scott
right now... i'm dealing with a lot of uncertainty in my love life...
i believe that different people bring out different characteristics of yourself...
i love who i am when i'm with Texas... i'm funny... i feel pretty... i feel like i'm at my best...
but with the Jewel... i feel insecure... inadequate... and like i'm not good enough for anyone... including him...
but i can't walk away from the Jewel... because i know he'll always be there for me... no matter what... i love him because he gives me security... and i know with him... i'll never be alone... but with him... i sacrifice my happiness... because my smile is simple a facade...
with Texas... i know that when i'm with him... i'll always be happy... but i'm not sure if he'll always be there... so with him... i sacrifice my sense of security...
i need to really put my big girl panties on... and deal with it... but their uncomfortable... and give me wedgies... sheesh...
6 comments:
hahahaa @ big girl panties.
i personally, would choose happiness. but if it's only temporary happiness, then i don't know.
why do you feel not good enough with jewel?
you're absolutely right about different people bringing different things out of you, too.
hope all is well hun.
That's a catch 22 there. I think I would choose someone that makes me happy over makes me feel inadequate and insecure. I've felt insecure and inadequate in a relationship before and they're not good feelings at all. Although one will be there long term, is forgoing your happiness worth having a lifetime of those inadequate feelings? I say stay with what makes you happy even if it's just for a time being.
You're a fool for that big girl panties line. You sound happiest with Texas, Why won't he always be there for you?
LOL @ big girl panties.
Im glad that u told texas how u felt. i think u feel he wont be there for u like the guys in ur past because its a new situation. u should always go with the person who brings out the best out of u.
just my two cents...
I think that until you feel like you have the complete package neither one of them may the be "the one"(u can be happy and have security u dont have to sacrifice one for the other) but I say live in the present and you should ALWAYS do what makes you happy. Happpiness is worth taking that risk even if its only temporarily. "Happiness is in the journey not the destination" Live your life to the fullest you never know what may happen. LOVE YOU!~!
Hey guys... thanks so much for your comments! I really appreciate them all...
Muze... i guess that's how he makes me feel... can't really put a finger on it... but i never hear what i do right... just what i do wrong... now i'm not one that always needs to be praised... but sheesh... tell me that you appreciate me! he doesn't do that... at all...
brother blog... good point... and i'm trying to figure that out now...
charles... i haven't know Texas outlaw that long (a little less than a year...) so i'm not that comfortable with him yet... but i know that's something that's gonna take time... i just don't like starting shit over... (yeah... i need to grow up...)
HEY BESTIE AND 1/3!!! Thanks for coming through and giving me your insight!
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