It's Wednesday... I have to get some work done before my boss get back next Tuesday... So... I'm going to do the right thing... And put it off until next Monday... I procrastinate now... no reason to put it off until later???
Kicked it with the bestie this weekend... We've been friends for 10 years... Truth be told the only reason she's stayed friends with me for this long is because my parents are rich, and one day she knew they would buy me a convertible... She's a pirate hooker, but I love her soooooooo...
Any who...
For all that know me... I have the tolerance of Yorkie Puppy... So in God's name I have no clue why in the world I tried to follow her this weekend (follow- the act of mimicking a persons drink menu for the night). It all started at Evolve. The night started off normal... I had a Mojito (or however you spell that shit, looks like salad in a glass if you ask me... but it is pretty taste)... Bestie had... hmmm... what did bestie have???? More than likely it was Goose and Pineapple... She's a hoe... but classy... thus why I love her soooooooooo...
Then things got really weird... Some guy bought me a drink... then wanted to drink the drink that he bought me... Then instead of attempting to get my number... He offered me Hydro... I kindly declined... and then he said, "fuck you" and walked away...
This isn't even the kicker...
His wing man (I guess this was like his damage control publicist... you know all the celebs have one...) came over to me and was like... You know he's a good guy, he's just really drunk, and he could do a lot for you... (Sidebar* As far as money goes... Let's just say there's not much that someone could do for me... that I couldn't do for myself...) I laugh and modestly flash my rings... (Sidebar* I'm also a bit of a stuck-up bitch)
Next Stop... Lauriol Plaza
Bestie and I chill here for a sec... I meet Bestie new "friend" which just so happens to be her x-boyfriends... new girlfriend... She kinda cute... It's just the whole fucked up teeth and bad wig thing that messes the whole thing up for her... But she's nice... and I hug her... (I'm good at being fake to people I don't care about... It's a gift... and a curse...) We had a more drinks... ( I think I was on my 4th or 5th...)
So we thought lil snaggle tooth was gonna give us a ride... But she rolled out... So we had to walk from Lauriol... To the middle of Adams Morgan... (That bitch planned that shit... but whatever...)
Off to Love...
I hate Love... It's over-rated... And the drinks are over-priced and watered down... I know this because I had two while I was there... Any who... We meet Nelly... He's not that good looking... And No... His body is not all that... Bestie and I took a picture in him... He began to rush us... I reminded him that we are his fans... and that his album is not doing that well... So we can take all the time we want...
Got to the car... Barely... Some guy came up to my window and tried to book me... We were in a dark alley... and I was drunk... So I tried to give him my wallet, and began to screem... (I was sheltered as a child... One time someone asked me if I had a jack... I asked him was he trying to take my car... ture story... bestie was there...) Drove down the rode a piece... Made some really bad decisions... I ended up... in someones toilet... Bestie... Well... Bestie ended up... in a trick bag... I put her in it... But she got me drunk... So we're even... We'll not really... But that's why she loves me soooooooooo!
Peace, Love, And a bottle of Olive Oil (I don't use hair grease...)
Tiff-ity Split!
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