pics shall be posted as soon as they come in...
*before i get this party started... i met a new guy this weekend... well... i met him about a year ago... but we exchanged numbers last week... and i likes... i really... really likes... he's sweet... we have GREAT conversation... he's a cop (well, that's not really a great thing... i do drugs... but not the hardcore ones... just the natural ones... but any who...) now to christen him with a nickname... i shall call him Ne-Yo... but he's a nice look Ne-Yo... not the balding one... now that's out the way... let's get to it*
Friday night... with that damn my size barbie...
let me give you the background on my size barbie... her and i went to college together... we ran in different circles... so we didn't speak to often... but two years after college... we started hanging out... now it's kinda hard to claim her as my "best friend" but i see us getting there... we relate on almost EVERYTHING... and she's super bousie (spell check that) just like me... any who...
barbie hits me up and wants to do dinner... so... we hit up my favorite spot... EVOLVE... barbie's home girl cupcake comes along with us (cupcake is a nice girl... just doesn't have much game when it comes to the fellas... but hey... she's cool beans...) we begin to eat... i get a cup of hot tea... it was fuckin FREEZING outside... barbie... get's a coke... cupcake... well that little hooker gets a STONG island... and when i say strong... i mean put some hair on your chest strong... and her little ass doesn't have a tolerance... and she starts embarrassing us at the bar... damn shame...
we then move onto to this little spot over in DuPont Circle... if you live in DC you know this is where all of the gays hang... which is cool... cause you're always gonna see some strange shit... now this is when i start getting drunk... and the following inappropriate statement comes out of my mouth... *sidebar... there was this gay bartender at the bar... he was talking about the O.J. case and said that he had it coming... mind you... O.J. did NOT go to jail for killing two white people... he got away with that... (yes... O.J. did it...) he went to jail cause he's a dumb ass... end sidebar*
i said the following... i don't know why white people are so made that he got away with killing two white people... ya'll have been lynching us for years... and yall got away with it... so we got two... ya'll got like a few million... slavery was a mo-fo...
i know... out of line... but he couldn't whoop me... so i can say what i want...
we then went to LOVE... now remember when i told yall i hate VIP sections of the club... well... guess were i found myself gallivanting... yep... in the VIP section of the club... and it was freakin awesome... got drunk... for free... and partied... for free... (barbie dates one of the owners...)
now here's where it all takes for the worse... we're leaving the club... barbie hits a curb... and gets two flats... luckily... a guy i use to talk to that went to college with me... was near by... and there was a 24hr tire place there as well... so we get two tires... and ole' boy winds up riding back to barbie's house with us... now i've never had sex with him for one reason... but at the time i couldn't remember why... but after we started kissin... i remembered... he had a little penis... a really little penis... i mean like toddler dick little penis... i told him i was tired... and then took my ass to bed... we woke up and i promised to call him later... which i didn't... cause i'm shallow... and i don't like toddler dick...
*before i get this party started... i met a new guy this weekend... well... i met him about a year ago... but we exchanged numbers last week... and i likes... i really... really likes... he's sweet... we have GREAT conversation... he's a cop (well, that's not really a great thing... i do drugs... but not the hardcore ones... just the natural ones... but any who...) now to christen him with a nickname... i shall call him Ne-Yo... but he's a nice look Ne-Yo... not the balding one... now that's out the way... let's get to it*
Friday night... with that damn my size barbie...
let me give you the background on my size barbie... her and i went to college together... we ran in different circles... so we didn't speak to often... but two years after college... we started hanging out... now it's kinda hard to claim her as my "best friend" but i see us getting there... we relate on almost EVERYTHING... and she's super bousie (spell check that) just like me... any who...
barbie hits me up and wants to do dinner... so... we hit up my favorite spot... EVOLVE... barbie's home girl cupcake comes along with us (cupcake is a nice girl... just doesn't have much game when it comes to the fellas... but hey... she's cool beans...) we begin to eat... i get a cup of hot tea... it was fuckin FREEZING outside... barbie... get's a coke... cupcake... well that little hooker gets a STONG island... and when i say strong... i mean put some hair on your chest strong... and her little ass doesn't have a tolerance... and she starts embarrassing us at the bar... damn shame...
we then move onto to this little spot over in DuPont Circle... if you live in DC you know this is where all of the gays hang... which is cool... cause you're always gonna see some strange shit... now this is when i start getting drunk... and the following inappropriate statement comes out of my mouth... *sidebar... there was this gay bartender at the bar... he was talking about the O.J. case and said that he had it coming... mind you... O.J. did NOT go to jail for killing two white people... he got away with that... (yes... O.J. did it...) he went to jail cause he's a dumb ass... end sidebar*
i said the following... i don't know why white people are so made that he got away with killing two white people... ya'll have been lynching us for years... and yall got away with it... so we got two... ya'll got like a few million... slavery was a mo-fo...
i know... out of line... but he couldn't whoop me... so i can say what i want...
we then went to LOVE... now remember when i told yall i hate VIP sections of the club... well... guess were i found myself gallivanting... yep... in the VIP section of the club... and it was freakin awesome... got drunk... for free... and partied... for free... (barbie dates one of the owners...)
now here's where it all takes for the worse... we're leaving the club... barbie hits a curb... and gets two flats... luckily... a guy i use to talk to that went to college with me... was near by... and there was a 24hr tire place there as well... so we get two tires... and ole' boy winds up riding back to barbie's house with us... now i've never had sex with him for one reason... but at the time i couldn't remember why... but after we started kissin... i remembered... he had a little penis... a really little penis... i mean like toddler dick little penis... i told him i was tired... and then took my ass to bed... we woke up and i promised to call him later... which i didn't... cause i'm shallow... and i don't like toddler dick...
this is me... the morning after... not pretty...Nola*
7 comments:
oh effin lord....that is funnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i love how u ended that sorry that had to take place~!~~~~ shit baggy magnums make me sad....=[
I was seeing this guy and became obsessed with this penis. I never had sex with him, but you can usually feel something..maybe TMI, but I continued to see him in hopes of seeing if he really had a weiner down there. Guess I'm not the only one :)
LOL-toddler penis??!! That's horrible. The only thing worse than a small one is a leaky one...gross.
you're adorable!!!
and umm...mrs. mary mack...leaky penis? who has a leaky penis? yuck!
and i understand, i too have been afflicted wit the toddler penis and it is NOT cool.
baggy magnums lmao!!!!
haha
that sux but toddler pintos are nott cool :(
Nola, Nola, Nola... your weekends are always eventful (in good and bad ways). I love reading about them, because I sit at my computer and crack the hell up laughing.
LOL @ you partying in VIP after talking about those who do in a previous post.
LOL @ your OJ comment.
& lmao at the baggy magnums. Lmao that's funny as hell.
Sounds like all was fun and well besides "baby boy" lol
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