worst vacation EVER!!!!!

so... i've been away for a while... you know the deal...

the brandon and I are no longer... and honestly it's for the best... but i'll get to that a little later...

let's get into the vaca...

him and i have been having a few issues... so what better to revive a relationship than take a mini vacation! WRONG... total fail... lol

i go online and find this amazing bed and breakfast spot in VA beach... it's also a spa... so i also book him and i a couples massage... not to mention i found this aquarium that will let you swim with the seal for a small fee (and when i say small i mean $125 each small... lol)

so we get through the drive... and we had a good time together... he seemed pretty distant... but i was like it will get better through the weekend... Thursday was cool... we ate... and chilled... but at the same time something just seemed to be wrong... but again... i felt that it would get better after the weekend... wrong... got worse... i mean... everything we did he seemed to push me away more and more... i tried to get close to him in bed... nothing... i tried to hold him while we were in the hot tub... nothing... i tried to kiss him... NOTHING! so finally i'm like... ok... look... what is going on... we get into what was just suppose to be a small discussion... and automatically he decides that he always get to this point... and he says... and I quote "making you happy feels like a chore... and I don't want anything i do to be fake... i just can't do this..." lost and confused i begin to cry... and beg for him to stay... mind you i love this man... and have put everything i have plus more into this relationship... so you're dag on right i'm going to fight for it... long story short... i sat in bed all day Saturday... crying... on what was suppose to be a wonderful vacation... at the end of the trip we decided to just take some space and figure things out...

during that time... (it was only a day...) i realized a few things... love does not eat away at who you are as a person... it enhances you... brandon was becoming a cancer to me... and eating away at the beautiful person that Tiffany (i'm Tiffany... lol... and also Nola Darling...) is... the person i was when i was with him was not me... i'm happy... i'm loving... i'm a writer... i love talking and being with my friends... and when i was with brandon... i did none of that... i barely updated my blog... or called my friends... or just enjoyed life... my sole concentration was on our relationship... which was destroying other relationships that i had... so intern... it was clear that i had to do one of the hardest things i had done in a long time... i had to cut things off completely with someone i felt that i was suppose to spend the rest of my life with...

now... he's not a bad guy... he is actually and amazing person... but i will say that he is a TERRIBLE boyfriend...

i got a lot out of the relationship... i found that i can be in a committed relationship... even when things get bad... i've grown closer to God... but most of all... i've learned how to love... really love...

i want a man who loves me... ever bit of me... and who wants to make me happy just as much as i want to make them happy... and i have no clue what the future holds... but i know that there is someone out there that is just for me... and i am so excited about taking this hard... wonderful... painful... loving... ugly... and beautiful journey... into finding love...

*Nola

hey guys...

sorry i had to make my blog private for a while... some lame chick told my x about it... he read it... and i felt kinda bad for what he saw... but like the old saying goes... when you go looking for stuff... you'll find it... i'll be back in a minute with new updates... thanks for stickin it out with me...

ms mary tagged me...

3 blogs in one day... sheesh! lol!

ms mary... so here we go!


What's your current obsession? my Canon... i have to upload more pics... he's my boyfriend right now...


What's your must have fashion need? my Tiffany's ring... i have a tan line on my left middle finger because i wear i so much...

What are you wearing right now? a short skirt... and high heels... i'm at work... and i want a promotion... lol i kid! i kid!

What's your favorite food? SUSHI!!!


What do you do for fun? Well... besides making people laugh... reading... blogging... tweeting... and talking to random people in the grocery store...

What made today special? my mom came to see me at work! she's super!

What would you like to learn to do? Fly a plane... it looks like fun...

What's the last thing you bought? A cup of hot water...

What are you listening/watching right now? my heater...

What's your favorite weather? 75 and sunny...

What's your one goal in life? to be closer to God...

What do you think of the person that tagged you? she's amazing... and i wish she lived in Maryland so i could be friends with her!

If you could have a house totally paid for, what would it look like? It would be the house i live in now... with my parents... thus why i cannot leave... LOL!


If you could swap lives with anyone in the world for one day who would it be and why? hmmm... no one... i love my life!

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go? hmmm... South of France... ahhhhhhhh...

What language would you like to learn? French...

What do you look for in a friend? to simply accept me for who i am... and see the good in me...

Who do you want to meet in person? Oprah...

What's your favorite type of music? ah... good music... doesn't matter what type it is... these question are getting silly...

What's your dream job? come on now... not working would be my dream job...

Describe your personal style? whatever i like that day... i change like the wind...

What's your favorite t.v. show? The Wire... how i misses the... and True Blood...

What's your favorite dessert? Death by Chocolate...

What's your favorite makeup brand? MAC... loves it!

What's your all time favorite perfume? Lolita Lampika... Spell check that...

What's something that you don't currently like about yourself? my tummy... but i'm learning to love it...

What's you fondest childhood memory? Anything with my Daddy...

What would you do w/a major lottery winning? i'm not answering this... cause i may loose my job...

If you had to pick a song for your funeral/memorial service, what would you choose? Moving on... by Stevie Wonder...


If you had the power to grant one person a wish ANY wish, who would it be and why? That the person i love would always be happy...

Rules:1.)Respond: answer the questions on your blog.

2.)Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

3.)Tag eight other people.



I'm tagging...

All of my loyal readers!!!! All 6 of yall... lol!

get your independent @$$ outta here... question????

OMG... i am soooo tired of hearing of all these chicks talk about how they don't need a man... and all these songs talking about i love her cause she got her own... and niggaz spelling out I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T... half yall chicks that claim to be independent couldn't even spell that word before that song came out...

first off... all these songs these dudes are making about "independent" women is just a trick... these niggaz just want us to pay for dinner... yeah niccu! I got my own... and you're still paying...

secondly... there is no such thing as an independent woman... in some way... shape or form... a woman needs a man in her life... now i'm not saying man like a boyfriend... or husband... because i know plenty of happy single women (i'm one of them) out here... i'm saying that every woman needs a father... or father figure... or a big cousin... or a homeboy... or a stickman... ladies... we need men in our lives... just as they need us...

i'm can't pee standing up... they can't give birth... i'm not changing my oil... and they're not picking out curtains...

so ladies... take off the pants... and put back on that skirt... men should be men... and women should be women... just my opinion...

Nola*

confusion... an ode to Michael Vick...

one of my homies... who goes by the alias of Michael Vick inspired this blog...


con·fu·sion
Pronunciation:
\kən-ˈfyü-zhən\
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: an act or instance of confusing 2 a: the quality or state of being confused b: a confused mass or mixture
— con·fu·sion·al \-ˈfyüzh-nəl, -ˈfyü-zhə-nəl\ adjective


now... i know i haven't blogged in a long time... i've had writers block... and i've been confused about a lot of shit... so please know... that this blog will be alllllllllll over the place... wait... all of my blogs are all over the place... whatevs... don't judge me...


on love...

• why can't i love to people at the same time...
• why does it hurt that i love the people at the same time...
• why do i get tired of people so easily...
• why is that i can't be committed to one individual...
• why do i still want to be with the Jewel...
• why does he have to always be so hot and cold with me...
• why do people fall in love with the idea of me... and not fall in love with me...
• why do i always fall for the wrong guy...
• why is that we adore the ones who ignore us... and ignore the ones who adore us...
• why do we hurt the ones the love us... and love the ones who hurt us...

on gays...

• why do people put sooooo much effort into hating what makes someone happy...
• love is love... and why can't people just accept it...
• why do people who read my blog continue to disrespect another person who reads my blog on my blog... go to his blog and tell him how you feel... and stop putting you fucked up opinion on mine... (but i do appreciate your opinion... even though it's kinda fucked up...)

on friendship...

• why is so hard to find more than two best friends...
• why am i so blessed to have 3...
• why is it that i can go for weeks without talking to them... and they never take it personally... love you Yani, Tish, and Nicole!

on random shit...

• why do i have to pay insurance... i'm paying just in case some shit will happen right... so... i think my job should pay me more now... just in case i get a better job... if you work for an insurance company... and you read my blog... please know that you're the scum of the earth... and you should kill yourself... thanks...
• why are the fat people that i've come across so mean...
• what the fuck are people still eating McDonald's... and then suing that place... cause their fat asses decided to eat it...

it's a few other things i'm confused on... but i'm about to go to lunch... at whole foods... eat organic people!

Nola*

shoot me out of a canon...

hey guys! do me a hug fav... check out my new blog
shoot me out of a canon.

it's just pics from my canon eos digital... loves this thingy!

i love debates... (unbreakable vs. JCal456)

even more so... i love when i set one off...

when i posted this blog ... i didn't expect to get two very... very long responses off of them... and here are the two responses...


long ass response from Unbreakable.


"ummm listen i do agree with only one thing in this post, and its that being gay can modern day genocide.

simple explain two men cant reproduce.

Your saying that if it does not affect you,you should not care, that i don't agree with. I know there are tuns on thing that don't concern we at all that we talk about, whenever it come to race and sex there is a taboo.

Why cant we talk about it and share our view,if i or any other person don't support people view why cant they voice that,o but according to you we should say in our lane. This world we live in don't work like that, whatever you do affect someone else one way or the other.


So what would you do if someone one your family was gay? it would be cool to get out your so called lane!!!!!!


Whats i do believe is that people should be sensitive to other way of life. I don't support gay marriage. but it happened."

then we have the long ass response from JCal456.:

[to unbreakable]
So what if two men can't reproduce, not all relationships produce children. Are those relationships considered modern day genocide too?

Also, I don't agree with the comment you made about being able to voice your view point. Only in this situation though.
If you were sharing your p.o.v on something someone CHOSE to do that I see no problem with that, but (and i know nobody who isn't homosexual never believes this but..) homosexuality is NOT a choice. I am gay, and I didn't wake up one morning and say "hey I want to be the exact same thing that the majority of my race,country,etc. hates. In fact, from the time I became aware of what I was, I woke up saying "why do I have to be this, why can't I be 'normal'." Then I began to grow out of that old fashioned mind-state, that "everything different is wrong" mind-state, and I'm happy with exactly who I am. If I wasn't supposed to be this way, then I wouldn't be this way.

Another thing, how would being gay effect anyone but the two people in the relationship? Yeah you'd have to see two men holding hands, or kissing. But you see a man and a women doing that on practically every tv show in America, just because they're the same gender it becomes obscene?

Also, someone in your family is probably gay. I don't mean that as an insult or anything, but the odds of someone in your family being gay are pretty high. I'm willing to be everyone knows someone who is gay and they don't even realize it. Since not all gay men look alike. If you don't have a gay family member then you probably have a gay co-worker, a gay friend, someone you encounter on a daily basis. It's life.

One more thing, before I write a whole blog post in a comment haha,
I'm not for gay marriage either, only because I don't believe in marriage for myself [and marriage]. But just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean it should be illegal. If two people are in love and think marriage will work out for them, then they should be able to do whatever they want.



i've read both of their blogs... i like mr. JCal's blog more than unbreakable...
1. he's gay... i love gay men...
2. he's a cutie pie... i love gay men who are cutie pie's...
3. unbreakable's blog is very organized... and has structure... and while i do appreciate that fact... i have enough organization in my life... i have self diagnosed OCD... don't judge me... JCal's blog is all over the place (in a good way... plus... his blog has super sex mens on it...) ... just like mine... and i loves it!

but i do thank both of you all for taking out the time to read my foolishness... keep on reading... and i'll try to keep it interesting...

Nola*