taking a break...

UGH!!!! i've been trying to sort out my feelings... this year has been full of ups... and downs... but all in all i've been very... VERY blessed... i'm at a turning point in my life... and i just need to sort a few things out... so i'll be back in a bit... love u guys...

Nola*

booo friday... hellooooo. Saturday... and SUNDAY!

so... i have finally gotten over the ex... like totally... like... i would never... EVER think of going back... well... maybe not never... (wait... re-thinks...) yeah... never... i'd go gay before i'd go back to him... and not judging anyone but donut bumping just isn't my thing...

so... friday... i went to this poetry slam at my church... it was amazing... i'm apart of the photography ministry... so i took a few flicks... listened the lovely poet's... and took it in... but i was still feeling a little sucky...

Sat started feeling better... had a talk with my mom... she called my ex a F*(! fag... and told me i was to good for him... and this time i really believed it.... cause i am... the way i treat a dude... i deserve a man that's going to dag on drink my bath water...

so... i met up with G... young man... he's 22... it kinda disappointed me that i found out he was under the limit that i usually date guys... but i was like hey... let's just go with it... surprisingly he was quiet amazing... talkative... but not in a way that i wanted to chew my right arm off... and stab myself in the ear... but in a good way... we hit up the tyler perry movie... and then went to dinner... he paid... he made me laugh... i took him home... and went home... and went to sleep... all in all... a good night... with a good guy...

oh... oh... oh... Sunday... Sunday... and yes... i just sung that...
i digress...

i have been peeping this guy at my church... he's light skinned... 6'4ish... green eyes... wait... i need to cap that... GREEN EYES!!!!!! And his name... well... let's call him Ricky Ross... (back to code names... don't judge me...) i grabbed this guy... who knows him... who tried to talk to me a while back... but he was getting married... and married people have aids... and i don't fools with aids... so... we made a brief introduction... he seemed kinda slow... but i'm shallow... and he has green eyes... so i can look past that... anywho... we exchange info... and he asks me to give him a call around 8... i call a little after 8... he didn't pick up... so i leave a message... he calls back shortly after... like 15 min shortly after... which is a plus... he tells me that he's dropping someone off around my way... (my dog just pooted... i'm moving outside by the pond...) he's kinda sounding like he wanted to ask to stop by... but doesn't come right out and say it cause it's like 9pm... he seems like a gentleman... so i then say... "well... if you like to stop by... feel free..." he asks if i wanted something to eat... i decline... cause i just finished watch the deadskins get that butt whooped... and munching on wings at outback... (shot-out to Glo) he comes over... we watch trueblood... well i tried to... but the conversation was going well... so i decided to watch it tomorrow on onDemand... we talked some more... watched a movie... he made me laugh... we fell asleep... he woke up... and asked me if i cuddled (i thought that was so sweet that he asked...) he held me close... and i exhaled... i can't remember the last time that i've done that... like really done that... and i want to get to know him better... and take it slow... and take walks in the park... and eat sushi (HE LIKE SUSHI!!!) and go museums... and maybe out of town... and if he makes it past the 90 day mark... maybe... wait... sorry... getting ahead of myself... he's cool... i like... have reservations... but i like... oh... and he's not slow... he just doesn't talk very fast...

sidenotes...
i've had 2 hrs of sleep in 2 days... and i'm going to the gym... cause i don't want to be fat... and as alwasys... i'm all over the place...

Nola*

dear rebounds... kick rocks...

why is it that when you get out of a relationship... all of the dudes that you use to talk to somehow find out... and start callin... a rebound nigga is the LAST thing that i need in my life right now... all i need is God... and me... my friends... and my fam... dating is sooooo not in the picture right now...

i wish people would realize that a rebound is not healing the pain that you feel inside... it's just masking it... it's still gonna be there... and it's only gonna get worse... cause you wind up hurting someone else... and hurting yourself more as well...

there is nothing wrong with taking time by yourself to heal... it's actually better that way...

so rebounds... stop sending flowers... stop calling for dinner... or just to say hi... all you want to do is see what color my panties are anyways... and just KICK ROCKS!!!!

Nola*

P.S. i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! LOL!

worst vacation EVER!!!!!

so... i've been away for a while... you know the deal...

the brandon and I are no longer... and honestly it's for the best... but i'll get to that a little later...

let's get into the vaca...

him and i have been having a few issues... so what better to revive a relationship than take a mini vacation! WRONG... total fail... lol

i go online and find this amazing bed and breakfast spot in VA beach... it's also a spa... so i also book him and i a couples massage... not to mention i found this aquarium that will let you swim with the seal for a small fee (and when i say small i mean $125 each small... lol)

so we get through the drive... and we had a good time together... he seemed pretty distant... but i was like it will get better through the weekend... Thursday was cool... we ate... and chilled... but at the same time something just seemed to be wrong... but again... i felt that it would get better after the weekend... wrong... got worse... i mean... everything we did he seemed to push me away more and more... i tried to get close to him in bed... nothing... i tried to hold him while we were in the hot tub... nothing... i tried to kiss him... NOTHING! so finally i'm like... ok... look... what is going on... we get into what was just suppose to be a small discussion... and automatically he decides that he always get to this point... and he says... and I quote "making you happy feels like a chore... and I don't want anything i do to be fake... i just can't do this..." lost and confused i begin to cry... and beg for him to stay... mind you i love this man... and have put everything i have plus more into this relationship... so you're dag on right i'm going to fight for it... long story short... i sat in bed all day Saturday... crying... on what was suppose to be a wonderful vacation... at the end of the trip we decided to just take some space and figure things out...

during that time... (it was only a day...) i realized a few things... love does not eat away at who you are as a person... it enhances you... brandon was becoming a cancer to me... and eating away at the beautiful person that Tiffany (i'm Tiffany... lol... and also Nola Darling...) is... the person i was when i was with him was not me... i'm happy... i'm loving... i'm a writer... i love talking and being with my friends... and when i was with brandon... i did none of that... i barely updated my blog... or called my friends... or just enjoyed life... my sole concentration was on our relationship... which was destroying other relationships that i had... so intern... it was clear that i had to do one of the hardest things i had done in a long time... i had to cut things off completely with someone i felt that i was suppose to spend the rest of my life with...

now... he's not a bad guy... he is actually and amazing person... but i will say that he is a TERRIBLE boyfriend...

i got a lot out of the relationship... i found that i can be in a committed relationship... even when things get bad... i've grown closer to God... but most of all... i've learned how to love... really love...

i want a man who loves me... ever bit of me... and who wants to make me happy just as much as i want to make them happy... and i have no clue what the future holds... but i know that there is someone out there that is just for me... and i am so excited about taking this hard... wonderful... painful... loving... ugly... and beautiful journey... into finding love...

*Nola

hey guys...

sorry i had to make my blog private for a while... some lame chick told my x about it... he read it... and i felt kinda bad for what he saw... but like the old saying goes... when you go looking for stuff... you'll find it... i'll be back in a minute with new updates... thanks for stickin it out with me...

ms mary tagged me...

3 blogs in one day... sheesh! lol!

ms mary... so here we go!


What's your current obsession? my Canon... i have to upload more pics... he's my boyfriend right now...


What's your must have fashion need? my Tiffany's ring... i have a tan line on my left middle finger because i wear i so much...

What are you wearing right now? a short skirt... and high heels... i'm at work... and i want a promotion... lol i kid! i kid!

What's your favorite food? SUSHI!!!


What do you do for fun? Well... besides making people laugh... reading... blogging... tweeting... and talking to random people in the grocery store...

What made today special? my mom came to see me at work! she's super!

What would you like to learn to do? Fly a plane... it looks like fun...

What's the last thing you bought? A cup of hot water...

What are you listening/watching right now? my heater...

What's your favorite weather? 75 and sunny...

What's your one goal in life? to be closer to God...

What do you think of the person that tagged you? she's amazing... and i wish she lived in Maryland so i could be friends with her!

If you could have a house totally paid for, what would it look like? It would be the house i live in now... with my parents... thus why i cannot leave... LOL!


If you could swap lives with anyone in the world for one day who would it be and why? hmmm... no one... i love my life!

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour where would you go? hmmm... South of France... ahhhhhhhh...

What language would you like to learn? French...

What do you look for in a friend? to simply accept me for who i am... and see the good in me...

Who do you want to meet in person? Oprah...

What's your favorite type of music? ah... good music... doesn't matter what type it is... these question are getting silly...

What's your dream job? come on now... not working would be my dream job...

Describe your personal style? whatever i like that day... i change like the wind...

What's your favorite t.v. show? The Wire... how i misses the... and True Blood...

What's your favorite dessert? Death by Chocolate...

What's your favorite makeup brand? MAC... loves it!

What's your all time favorite perfume? Lolita Lampika... Spell check that...

What's something that you don't currently like about yourself? my tummy... but i'm learning to love it...

What's you fondest childhood memory? Anything with my Daddy...

What would you do w/a major lottery winning? i'm not answering this... cause i may loose my job...

If you had to pick a song for your funeral/memorial service, what would you choose? Moving on... by Stevie Wonder...


If you had the power to grant one person a wish ANY wish, who would it be and why? That the person i love would always be happy...

Rules:1.)Respond: answer the questions on your blog.

2.)Replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

3.)Tag eight other people.



I'm tagging...

All of my loyal readers!!!! All 6 of yall... lol!

get your independent @$$ outta here... question????

OMG... i am soooo tired of hearing of all these chicks talk about how they don't need a man... and all these songs talking about i love her cause she got her own... and niggaz spelling out I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T... half yall chicks that claim to be independent couldn't even spell that word before that song came out...

first off... all these songs these dudes are making about "independent" women is just a trick... these niggaz just want us to pay for dinner... yeah niccu! I got my own... and you're still paying...

secondly... there is no such thing as an independent woman... in some way... shape or form... a woman needs a man in her life... now i'm not saying man like a boyfriend... or husband... because i know plenty of happy single women (i'm one of them) out here... i'm saying that every woman needs a father... or father figure... or a big cousin... or a homeboy... or a stickman... ladies... we need men in our lives... just as they need us...

i'm can't pee standing up... they can't give birth... i'm not changing my oil... and they're not picking out curtains...

so ladies... take off the pants... and put back on that skirt... men should be men... and women should be women... just my opinion...

Nola*