so i'll make this simple... (Dear Ny)

you have a tendency to ask me "what are you thinking about?" and i almost always give you a half answer... so today... i've decided to step outside my normal guarded self... and take a serious risk... one that i haven't taken in a long time... tell you everything... so here goes...

• i can see myself falling for you... and i didn't pack a shoot... i wish i did... but if you're not expecting to fall... you don't carry around a parachute on your back...
• i just want to be someone who makes you happy...
• i miss you when you're away...
• i can't wait til i see you again...

i've known you a month... and i would have never expected to feel this way about someone so soon... i'm usually the one who is always so "by the book" so sure of herself... i'm the person who everyone talks about having... but no one can get... but with you... for some reason... all of the has changed...

i've known guys for over a year and they've never seen the inside of my house... and def haven't seen the inside of my room... and have never meet my parents... but you have...

but the main thing that consumes my thoughts... is this question...

is this ok? is it ok to like you? is it ok to want more with you? is it ok to miss you? is it ok to want to see you? is it ok?

so... there you have it... now you know what i'm thinking... and how i feel... i just hope... that maybe... just maybe... there's a part of you that feels the same...

*sigh* I WILL NOT LIKE HIM!!!!

*side bar* for some reason i'm watching "The Bucket List" in Spanish... me no speaka dat...

i've really been doing good when it comes to dating... and trying to make sure i stay single for now... but new years day... i think i may have actually met THE ONE... i digress...

kicking it at lucky strikes with a few friends... i see a couple of classmates from VSU and this guy (i didn't know him...)... i was still bowling at the time... so i waited for after my go to walk over and say hi to them... i went over to the bar section and look for my fellow alumnus... i didn't see them... but i saw a young man that was with them... so i walked over to him and asked if he knew my two classmates that i saw earlier... he said yes... and that they had went to the restroom... so i then introduced myself to him... and told him that i went to college with the two... by this time my classmates came out of the potty... lol

spoke to my classmates... caught up on old times... but then... my attention kinda drifted back to the guy i just met... let's call him "Lucky" cause i met him at Lucky Strikes... lol... i asked for the credentials on him from my college buddy... he gave me the thumbs up... and i then began to work my charm... lol...

we talked for a few... and exchanged numbers... i told him i would call... and he said he would look forward to it...

so i go back over to my other friends to finish up bowling... but was beginning to get sober... so i head back to the bar for a Brewski... i'm sitting there about to order and Lucky comes up to the bar to talk to me again... now... most times i would find this annoying... but for some reason... i didn't mind it at all... we talked... i decided to sit at the bar... we talked some more... and next thing i knew... i had missed all of my turns for bowling... and had been sitting there with him for over a hr...

his conversation was intriguing... his looks were very... very easy on the eyes... and his way were charming... and he seems so genuine... he's looking for everything that i'm looking for out of a relationship... which i didn't think that i could find... but i asked God to send me someone with certain things about them... and i think this might be him... time will tell (yeah i know... it's only been a few days... but it's kinda funny that he's exactly down to the socks what i'm looking for... lol) but we shall see... lol

Nola*

sometimes u just gotta grab life by the balls...

status: single... and actually happy...

looking for: man... with job... preferable no kids (i'm flexible with this one, but you HAVE to have a good relationship with your child's mother... i don't do baby mama drama)... believes in God or a higher being... and is not crazy (not flexible with this one)

i'm really at a point where i don't have time for the bull... if you're not trying to start something substantial with me... i'm only gonna entertain you for so long...

most of the guys i have been dating might actually see themselves being with me... and they tend to express that to me in dull boring ways... but i guess right now i just can't see myself being with any of them... it's just two many red flags going up... way back when i use to ignore those... but now... i see them and just move on to the next one...

and while i'm not dealing with bull... what i am dealing with is apprehension and insecurity... in my eyes there's nothing wrong with apprehension... to me that's just God telling me that there's something wrong... and to move on... or to take my time and feel the situation out... but insecurity sometimes can keep you from missing out on your blessing...

the only two things i want right now out of life is: to be happy... no matter where God puts me... and for clarity... if i'm suppose to go right... i want to know that i'm suppose to go right... if i'm going left... i don't want to feel that i'm suppose to be going right...

there's just something that been tugging at my heart... sometimes it's a whisper... and sometimes it gets so loud that i can't focus on anything else... i just can't put my finger on what it is...

but i know one thing... i'm gonna enjoy this ride... and not worry about where it's gonna take me... grabbin life by the balls and not letting go... ;-)

Nola*

AYYYYYYYEEEEEEE

ahhhhh dating...

it freaking rocks right about now... taking it slow... not really worrying about anything... not fallin for just anyone... it's pretty good right now...

anywho... i'm really at a point where i'm really falling in love with myself... and it's really amazing... i see who i want and call who i want... and when i find myself not wanting to call or see anyone... the times when i'm alone... i really restore myself...

truth be told i've been needing to be like this for a while... this is the FIRST time i've been single since i was like 15... yeah... i'm for real...

so here i am... Tiffany... Bremby... Tiff Tiff... Nola... whatever u want to call me... here... i... am... lovin me... ;-)

Nola*

i have so much to be thankful for...

happy thanksgiving everyone!!!

it's sad that once a year i really sit down and reflect on how much i have to be thankful for... most of us including myself spend most of our time complaining about what we don't have and what we want we don't take the time to look at all that we have...

so i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my parents... i'm thankful for my faithful blog readers... i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my doggy... and i'm thankful for my job...

i'm thankful for my hard times... i'm thankful for the pain i've gone through in relationships... i'm thankful for rainy days... and i'm thankful for death... just as much as i'm thankful for life...

so on this day i want all of you guys to reflect on what your thankful for... good or bad...

take care!

Nola*

DID YA MISS ME?!

hey guys... i know it's been a minute... just been working... (got a second gig now... WHAT UP WHOLE FOODS!) and living... and a little lovin' here and there... lol...


so... lets get to it...

the reason i took a break was because i was at a point were i just felt broken (mentally)... not to say that i'm not still a little damaged... but let me put it like this... i'm walking around on a sprained ankle... i'm good... but i'm just not ready to run yet... between getting over my x (who i can now admit was the first person i've EVER been in love with) to doing this whole dating thing... it had all left me to a point where i felt like i was loosing myself... so i need to take some time to figure out things... so i want to thank you guys for not removing me from your blog list...

THE IGNORANCE AND FOOLISHNESS WILL NOW COMMENCE... LOL!


so... like i said... i picked up a part time at WHOLE FOODS.... best job ever... the people i work with are absolutely AMAZING! it's great to be around people who are from different backgrounds and cultures... i can't always understand what they're saying to me... but i love being around them none the less...

now onto the juicy stuff... dating...

i've been seeing about 3 guys... one of them is not really worth mentioning... so i won't... so let's just say i've been seeing 2 guys...

Eric... *sigh* what can i say... he's great... 5'8... pretty smile... college grad... nice home... smells amazing... calls... great convo... always pays... all around great guy... i just don't think i have a physical connection with him... but i'm thinking that maybe it can grow over time... just trying to figure out where it's going... i'm really thinking he's gonna end up in the friend box... just don't know how to tell him that... or if i should tell him that at all... you don't want to kill a vibe you know...

Ross... *BIGGER SIGH* if were to ask me to be his woman right now i would say yes... he's amazing... and there not doubt in my mind that i could fall in love with him... he makes me smile... he accepts me for who i am... and i really think i'm falling in love with him... the only problem is i have no clue how he feels about me... and i kinda don't want to know... i like how things are going right now... slow... and... steady... don't want to start asking questions... even more so because i'm not sure how i really feel right now...

oh... btw... these to old ass women at my job are hating on me... because they're ovaries don't work... and they're husbands spank it me every night...


Nola*

taking a break...

UGH!!!! i've been trying to sort out my feelings... this year has been full of ups... and downs... but all in all i've been very... VERY blessed... i'm at a turning point in my life... and i just need to sort a few things out... so i'll be back in a bit... love u guys...

Nola*