sometimes we create the very people that we don't want to be with...

relationships can be tough... super tough... i mean... tough like outback steakhouse steak tough (i hate their steaks btw... their drinks are pretty delectable though...)

but i think the only reason they can be so complicated is because we make them that way... instead of learning to love the person we're with for who they are at the present time, we want them to be the idea of what we think they should be...

so... here are a few of the things that i've learned from the men that i've dealt with... and i'm currently dealing with...

• you can't make anyone feel how you want them to feel about you... if they love you... they will... if they don't... then they won't...
• feelings between two people do not develop at the same pace... (at least that's how i see it) one person will sometimes give a little more than the other... as long as both parties understand they are working toward a certain goal, and both parties feel that the situation is healthy... i think the relationship will grow...
• sex doesn't do shit but complicate the situation more... (ladies... get a dildo... it will keep you from making bad dick decisions...)
• guys... the stupid shit matters... i.e. calling just to say hi... texts messages in the morning... playing in our hair... or cards are quick ways to keep us from acting crazy....
• ladies... do not expect men to just figure out what you like... i.e. if he's not calling you enough... tell him... if you like flowers... tell him... if you want to see him... TELL HIM!!!! guys cannot read your mind... they're visual and verbal creatures... not emotional like us...
• just because a person doesn't love you the way you want them to love you... doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have... i.e. if i asked him for $20 and he only has $5 and he give me that $5 i should appreciate that he is giving me all that he has... feel me?

in closing... the only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the "extra"...

Nola*

OMG... Mother Nature Needs a Swift Ass whoopin...

snow... everywhere... i mean... i am so over this biggity bullshit... i swear... this snow makes me think that winter will never freakin end...

i've been eating everything in site... thank God that i still have a good metabolism... or my ass would be back to 190... yeah... i was 190... still holding at 165... lol

Ny came to see me... in all this mess... makes me like him more... ok jeez... i'm falling in love with him... there i said it... just when i was happy being single... here he comes... and makes me want to be in a relationship... but timing is everything... so i've kinda been avoiding the whole... relationship conversation... but i guess i'll break down in the next few weeks... movin on...

i've realized a lot in this whole being snowed in thing...

• my parents are amazing... and totally in love... i want to love someone like that...
• my dog is also amazing... and has a lot of personality... more than most people...
• i love making art...
• i love being alone... and just having me time... i'm pretty cool once i get to know me... lol
• everything taste good when you're bored...

welll ta ta for now...

Nola*

so i'll make this simple... (Dear Ny)

you have a tendency to ask me "what are you thinking about?" and i almost always give you a half answer... so today... i've decided to step outside my normal guarded self... and take a serious risk... one that i haven't taken in a long time... tell you everything... so here goes...

• i can see myself falling for you... and i didn't pack a shoot... i wish i did... but if you're not expecting to fall... you don't carry around a parachute on your back...
• i just want to be someone who makes you happy...
• i miss you when you're away...
• i can't wait til i see you again...

i've known you a month... and i would have never expected to feel this way about someone so soon... i'm usually the one who is always so "by the book" so sure of herself... i'm the person who everyone talks about having... but no one can get... but with you... for some reason... all of the has changed...

i've known guys for over a year and they've never seen the inside of my house... and def haven't seen the inside of my room... and have never meet my parents... but you have...

but the main thing that consumes my thoughts... is this question...

is this ok? is it ok to like you? is it ok to want more with you? is it ok to miss you? is it ok to want to see you? is it ok?

so... there you have it... now you know what i'm thinking... and how i feel... i just hope... that maybe... just maybe... there's a part of you that feels the same...

*sigh* I WILL NOT LIKE HIM!!!!

*side bar* for some reason i'm watching "The Bucket List" in Spanish... me no speaka dat...

i've really been doing good when it comes to dating... and trying to make sure i stay single for now... but new years day... i think i may have actually met THE ONE... i digress...

kicking it at lucky strikes with a few friends... i see a couple of classmates from VSU and this guy (i didn't know him...)... i was still bowling at the time... so i waited for after my go to walk over and say hi to them... i went over to the bar section and look for my fellow alumnus... i didn't see them... but i saw a young man that was with them... so i walked over to him and asked if he knew my two classmates that i saw earlier... he said yes... and that they had went to the restroom... so i then introduced myself to him... and told him that i went to college with the two... by this time my classmates came out of the potty... lol

spoke to my classmates... caught up on old times... but then... my attention kinda drifted back to the guy i just met... let's call him "Lucky" cause i met him at Lucky Strikes... lol... i asked for the credentials on him from my college buddy... he gave me the thumbs up... and i then began to work my charm... lol...

we talked for a few... and exchanged numbers... i told him i would call... and he said he would look forward to it...

so i go back over to my other friends to finish up bowling... but was beginning to get sober... so i head back to the bar for a Brewski... i'm sitting there about to order and Lucky comes up to the bar to talk to me again... now... most times i would find this annoying... but for some reason... i didn't mind it at all... we talked... i decided to sit at the bar... we talked some more... and next thing i knew... i had missed all of my turns for bowling... and had been sitting there with him for over a hr...

his conversation was intriguing... his looks were very... very easy on the eyes... and his way were charming... and he seems so genuine... he's looking for everything that i'm looking for out of a relationship... which i didn't think that i could find... but i asked God to send me someone with certain things about them... and i think this might be him... time will tell (yeah i know... it's only been a few days... but it's kinda funny that he's exactly down to the socks what i'm looking for... lol) but we shall see... lol

Nola*

sometimes u just gotta grab life by the balls...

status: single... and actually happy...

looking for: man... with job... preferable no kids (i'm flexible with this one, but you HAVE to have a good relationship with your child's mother... i don't do baby mama drama)... believes in God or a higher being... and is not crazy (not flexible with this one)

i'm really at a point where i don't have time for the bull... if you're not trying to start something substantial with me... i'm only gonna entertain you for so long...

most of the guys i have been dating might actually see themselves being with me... and they tend to express that to me in dull boring ways... but i guess right now i just can't see myself being with any of them... it's just two many red flags going up... way back when i use to ignore those... but now... i see them and just move on to the next one...

and while i'm not dealing with bull... what i am dealing with is apprehension and insecurity... in my eyes there's nothing wrong with apprehension... to me that's just God telling me that there's something wrong... and to move on... or to take my time and feel the situation out... but insecurity sometimes can keep you from missing out on your blessing...

the only two things i want right now out of life is: to be happy... no matter where God puts me... and for clarity... if i'm suppose to go right... i want to know that i'm suppose to go right... if i'm going left... i don't want to feel that i'm suppose to be going right...

there's just something that been tugging at my heart... sometimes it's a whisper... and sometimes it gets so loud that i can't focus on anything else... i just can't put my finger on what it is...

but i know one thing... i'm gonna enjoy this ride... and not worry about where it's gonna take me... grabbin life by the balls and not letting go... ;-)

Nola*

AYYYYYYYEEEEEEE

ahhhhh dating...

it freaking rocks right about now... taking it slow... not really worrying about anything... not fallin for just anyone... it's pretty good right now...

anywho... i'm really at a point where i'm really falling in love with myself... and it's really amazing... i see who i want and call who i want... and when i find myself not wanting to call or see anyone... the times when i'm alone... i really restore myself...

truth be told i've been needing to be like this for a while... this is the FIRST time i've been single since i was like 15... yeah... i'm for real...

so here i am... Tiffany... Bremby... Tiff Tiff... Nola... whatever u want to call me... here... i... am... lovin me... ;-)

Nola*

i have so much to be thankful for...

happy thanksgiving everyone!!!

it's sad that once a year i really sit down and reflect on how much i have to be thankful for... most of us including myself spend most of our time complaining about what we don't have and what we want we don't take the time to look at all that we have...

so i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my parents... i'm thankful for my faithful blog readers... i'm thankful for my friends... i'm thankful for my doggy... and i'm thankful for my job...

i'm thankful for my hard times... i'm thankful for the pain i've gone through in relationships... i'm thankful for rainy days... and i'm thankful for death... just as much as i'm thankful for life...

so on this day i want all of you guys to reflect on what your thankful for... good or bad...

take care!

Nola*